I'M STILL AVAILABLE FOR THE 2014 WORLD CUP

Well this has been a bad week, infact an awful week. But, thats something to talk about when I can face it at a later date. Now, when I am down in the dumps about something, I give myself a few options to try to raise my mood: comfort food, alcohol or watching sport from the 1970s and 1980s. Now the comfort food thing I tend to do on a daily basis, a bottle of wine is hardly a rarity either, so that leaves me with the sport watching option.

It just so happens that tomorrow brings the start of another world cup tournament. As ever I have bought my

Panini Sticker Album

I still need 14 stickers to complete my collection but can't risk arrest by hanging outside any schools to do my 'swapsies'. The good news is that there are two people older than me in the album, the Australian goalkeeper Mark Schwarzer and Lee Woon-Jae from South Korea. Incase you can't place the Korean fellow, he's the one with the basin haircut. Oh no hang on a minute.....that hasn't really narrowed it down.

Anyway, technically speaking IF England had picked me for their squad I wouldn't been have the oldest in the tournament so I am still in with a shout. Besides,

Dino Zoff

Was 40 years old when he was part of the triumphant 1982 Italian team.

So, if England had have decided to pick me, I believe this is the kind of player I would have been. I would like to think I would have had hair like

Carlos Valderrama

although if truth be known, it would be more like

Grzegorz Lato

I would have worn 'Budgie Smugglers' that I believe would have made me look like

Zico

I would definitely have scored goals like

Arie Haan

Or

Igor Belanov




And if I scored a goal, even if it was in training, I would celebrate like
Marco Tardelli


Anyway Mr Capello, I will be only 39 at the time of the next world cup, a full year younger than that Zoff fella, so don't be shy, give me a tinkle.