TIME TO FINALLY GET FIT

There's always an excuse; too tired, too miserable, too happy, too rainy, too cold, too warm. It's not that I don't know what exercises to do or what to eat or not eat, I'm just too lazy and I like food and drink too much. End of. I joined a gym in Stockholm I think four months ago. Technically speaking I have been there, although admittedly only to sign up for membership. I suppose that visit did burn some calories, after all there were around 12 steps down to the reception and then I had to do a few 'reps' with one of their pens.

Maybe the only answer is to get a personal trainer? Seeing as I live in Sweden and would be trying to get a trainer in a SATS gym in the city, I can envisage two scenarios, both with the same ending:

1) The trainer ends up being some Swedish angelic 20 year old female, who is quite frankly embarassed and disgusted to be associated with me walking round the gym in my:

shorts that are arguably one size too small


2) A 6 foot 6 inch Swedish triathlete and ex-viking who I take an immediate dislike to and spend the entire session plotting ways to get revenge after he laughs at

the dumbbells I choose for my workout


Either way, I predict I turn up once and then make poor excuses for the next two sessions and then move house and change phone number so they can never contact me again.

Now, what might work for me on the personal training front is hiring RICHARD SIMMONS, a well respected work-out guru from the 1970s and 1980s. The man oozes inspiration as far as I can tell.

Richard Simmons


And if I am unable to get hold of his telephone number, I can always start with

his dvd